Coworker: Hey, that's a great looking salad you got there.
Me: Thanks! I'm gonna put it in me.
Me: With my mouth!
via Cartoon Brew
Danny: Are you going to Elizabeth's wedding?
Me: Yeah, I just RSVP'd.
Danny: Cool. Are you bringing a "plus one?"
Me: We all die alone.
Danny: ...so "no," then?
Me: Oh. Sorry. No.
UCB Sketch Cram →
I’m gonna be one of the writers for this month’s show. Come check it out!
Why can’t I stop listening to this?
Damn, girl! Your pizza is lookin’ gooooooooooood.
azizisbored: If the Food Network is interested in developing a cooking show with me where I play a character based on this kid, please contact me. Thanks. rickyv: iCarly star Reed Alexander’s cooking segment on The Today Show. Holy fucking shit.
Great cover! Now let’s date each other.